Non theism wasn't painful at all. One of the lucky ones.
Oh, oh, I said lucky
I was born and raised in Mexico. My maternal grandmother is a fervent Catholic (as well as aunts/uncles - although grandfather could care less) and I was baptized, but that was it. My parents never really bothered with religion, they never went to church. Although my mom liked the whole Christmas celebration for her kitsch decoration sense and for partying with the family. My father was a congressman for Mexico's socialist party in the 70's and I suspect he was an atheist, although he never used the term or tried to influence my "beliefs". He kept a very nice library in my childhood home and got me the coolest books on every topic.
Grandma would sometimes take me to church (One of her brothers in Guadalajara is actually Catholic priest ... oh oh
, but I never had much interaction with her family). I always found church boring; I just went with grandma because I liked to take a nice stroll with her once in a while just to hang out. I always took a secret pleasure of being one of the oldest kids that did not have to take the communion wafer (never completed the first communion), but also kinda worried someone would call me out on it in the middle of mass and embarrass my grandma. That never happened.
My father's sister was a Jehovah witness and would always give me those hardcover books with these sci-fi-esque full-page color illustrations of the seven-headed beasts (dragon and lion with a drunk Babylon the harlot riding on the back) and the four horsemen of the apocalypse (those were especially awesome paintings), hoping it would influence me. But I just enjoyed those books for the art. My brain just cataloged them in the fiction section, along with our wonderful encyclopedia of mythology, La Fontaine's Fables, and the Arabian Nights.
tl;dr: I have never been religious, I was lucky to not have had religion crammed down my throat.
